For those of you who don't know -- this is a joke.

If you would like some serious advice on diet and bodybuilding, click here.

Craig's Bodybuilding Diet

This diet is designed by me for building muscle.

BREAKFAST

  • ½ Grapefruit (no sugar)
  • 1 large bowl oat meal (not instant, no sugar)
  • 4 egg whites (from boiled eggs - discard yolks)
  • 8 oz Skim Milk

    • LUNCH

  • 8 oz Broiled Skinless Boneless Chicken Breast
  • 1 cup Steamed Spinach
  • 1 cup Herb Tea
  • 1 Oreo Cookie

    • MIDAFTERNOON SNACK

  • Rest of the Oreos in the Package
  • 2 Pints of Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream
  • 1 Jar Hot Fudge Sauce
  • Nuts, Cherries, Whipped Cream

    • DINNER

  • 2 Loaves Garlic Bread with Cheese
  • Large Sausage, Mushroom and Cheese Pizza with Chicken Breast Meat
  • 4 bottles of good Beer
  • 3 Snickers Candy Bars

    • LATE EVENING NEWS

  • Entire Frozen Cheesecake eaten directly from freezer
    •

    RULES FOR THIS DIET

    1. If you eat something and no-one sees you eat it, it is good for building muscle.
    2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the fat in the candy bar is canceled out by the diet soda.
    3. When you eat with someone else, if you don't eat more than they do, then you're a wimp.
    4. Foods used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot chocolate, Snickers and Cheesecake.
    5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, you look more cut.
    6. Cookie crumbs and pieces contain no sugar or fat. The process of breaking the cookie causes sugar and fat leakage.
    7. If you are in the process of preparing something, then things licked off knives and spoons don't have any fat.
    Ex.: Peanut Butter on a knife making a sandwich; ice cream on a spoon when making a sundae.
    1. Foods that have the same color have the same nutritional value.
    Ex: Broccoli & Pistachio ice cream, Chicken breast & White Chocolate.
    NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.
    1. If you add chicken breast or egg whites to anything, then it's good for building muscle.

    For those of you who don't know -- this is a joke.

    If you would like some serious advice on diet and bodybuilding, click here.